Sunday, September 18, 2011

Creepy People At Shows

So it's pretty much a well known fact that anytime I go anywhere or do anything, I am sure to meet a psychopathic creeper. Over the past many years that I have been attending concerts, quite a few of these people have popped up in my path, as well as on various trips and outings.

Let's take one of the first times I can remember. I was with my friends Jawrdn and Dylan. We were coming from Canada and headed to Syracuse, NY to do a bit of shopping. When we finally arrive and hit the mall, not 3 minutes since we had walked inside, a teenage girl pointed at me and said "Oh, look! It's little people!" and proceeded to cackle manically. This is an event that I still have not lived down and it's often a reoccuring joke.
Now, I'm not that short... 5'3" isn't that bad, right? Anyway... this was the more tame of the ongoing occurances. Fast forward a couple years after that.

I just moved to a new city, a fresh start with different people and unfamiliar locations rich for the exploring. Standing outside a venue I was awaiting a show to begin consisting of Psyopus and Cattle Decapitation. Waiting very, very patiently because the doors opened nearly an hour after they said they would and that hour would prove to be one of the longest of my life.
Seeing a group of (who I found out to be the main group in this town of show-goers) punks that seem like those kids who just go to every show in town and enjoy every band, whether the band sucks or not... I make my way over to them and try to join in on a conversation, to which this clique denied and ignored because obviously I am just not cool enough to talk to a guy with a  half assed mo-hawk and thick rimmed emo glasses, dressed in tight pants and a Thrash Punk vest donning a nice large patch of "The Casualties" on his back. So, I trot my way back to the other side of the entrance to stand and wait some more when low and behold... Crazy Cat Lady Preacher Woman.

I'm still convinced she came up to me because I was entirely alone. And she of course began telling me how God loves me and he wants to see me "do something with my life" and "not dress in such dark clothing". She was also touching me. After telling her I quite enjoy my dark dismal lifestyle and didn't need her judgement or fondlings, she soon moved onto the larger group because I led her to said group so she would bother them also. This made the group even more unaccepting to me, as I pawned this lady off onto them and watched her ramble away for a good thirty-five minutes until they were finally able to get rid of her.
I filmed the Cattle Decapitation show, and at the very last song in the beginning, Travis Ryan even makes a comment about the song being dedicated to the woman who was bothering us outside. Oh yeah, and only ten people including myself showed up.

There was also very shady, sketchy bald black guy from the time I met Eddie from All Shall Perish this past March. Someone was taking a casual short film of us chillin' with Eddie since we were all friends, Slim Shady leans into the shot and goes apeshit. Tries to take pictures of the filmer on his phone when they weren't looking.
That night was also the night I met Skitzophrenic Asian Hooker. All Shall Perish were playing with Kataklysm and Decrepit Birth (who didn't make it through the boarder) and another band had to fill in for them. Heading out for some fresh air while some really terrible local band was trying their best to figure out how to play the instruments on stage, this very skinny asian woman comes up to me and my friend. She says hello, and everything after that was completely incoherent. It wasn't English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Japanese... it was no known language to man. She starts half assed singing and spouting nonsensical bullshit.
Finally, she manages to stutter that she needs 50 cents to make a phone call. We shake our heads and she goes on her way... finally... and just as me and my friend were about to head in the Skitzophrenic Asian Hooker is asking Perverted Old Bum for 50 cents, to which he begins to unzip his pants and said he would for a favor.

This is barely even the beginning... but I feel this post getting a little long. Plus I'm tired of typing.
Stay tuned for more. \m/


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