Sunday, May 04, 2014

Review: Citizen Vicious - Loud Mean Fast Dirty

From gritty southern heavy metal and fast thrash Citizen Vicious were born, a four piece band from the subtle outskirts of Montreal. It's unclear exactly when they formed, but they've been around since at least 2011 and have been playing numerous shows throughout their home region for quite some time. Landing in my mail box via the awesome guys over at Silver Wings Studios, Citizen Vicious have just discharged their debut LP, Loud Mean Fast Dirty. Let's give it a spin, shall we?

Genre: Thrash Metal, Heavy Metal
Label: Self-released/independent
Release Date: March 15th, 2014
  1. Tonight
  2. Shit-Faced
  3. Thunder-Cunt
  4. The Reaper
  5. Payback
  6. Welcome to Hell
  7. Loud Mean Fast Dirty
  8. Evil Eyes
  9. Born to Be Wild (Live Steppenwolf Cover)
Total Playtime: 27 minutes, 41 seconds





Rating: 9.0/10




More Citizen Vicious Articles and Reviews



From gritty southern heavy metal and fast thrash Citizen Vicious were born, a four piece band from the subtle outskirts of Montreal. It's unclear exactly when they formed, but they've been around since at least 2011 and have been playing numerous shows throughout their home region for quite some time. Landing in my mail box via the awesome guys over at Silver Wings Studios, Citizen Vicious have just discharged their debut LP, Loud Mean Fast Dirty. Let's give it a spin, shall we?

This isn't going to be a normal review per-se, rather the retelling of the events that ensued upon my receipt of this album. I woke up shortly after the metal warlords dropped my mail off and, although sleep crusted my eyes, I was happy to see the familiar Silver Wings Studios label and packaging. I tore open the package, which was glowing a weird aura of gold... but anyway, out slid Loud Mean Fast Dirty. I unwrapped the CD and beheld the ultimate metal cover of a woman with horns riding a nuke adorned with a skull for it's warhead, with an airplane dropping atomic bombs. "Well that's metal", I thought. I opened up the album and found that the CD itself looks like a vinyl record. "Well that's even more metal" I thought. I pulled the CD out of its holding cell and was greeted by an underlay of close-up giant tits and immediately grinned. "Now that, that just made my day" I thought. So in to my CD tray went the record, which was ripped and placed onto my phone. Out the door I went to begin my day, on slid my headphones and that's when the magic truly began.

I was walking to the bus stop when "Tonight" was still playing and all of a sudden my fist started pumping involuntarily in the air to the rhythm of the guitar melodies and as soon as I stepped foot on the bus I couldn't contain myself anymore. I grabbed the driver by the shirt collar and growled in my best metal voice "We are here to fucking rock and roll!!!" and began banging my head wildly to the flurry of thrashing tempos and structures for the remainder of the ride, whipping other passengers with my long flowing locks. No fucks being given anymore, I stopped by the beer store on my walk to work, guzzled a six pack in six minutes and smashed the cans off my head to the pounding, thrashing beats of the constantly changing drums and thumping bass in "Shit-Faced"; let's just say the blast beats did me in and at that point I began gushing blood down my forehead.


At this point "Reaper" was playing, and reeking of booze and iron I kicked in the door to my work place, went straight up to my boss and growled in his face "RRRRRRAAAAAIIIIII AM THE REAPER! RAAAAAAAIIIIIII AM YOUR FEAR!", effectively causing him to shit his pants before I jumped up onto some random desks and air-guitared along to every single fucking heavy metal guitar solo in the album, during which I grew the most mighty and epic of manly beards to be beheld by mortal eyes (think Zakk Wylde meets ZZ Top). I grabbed some of my co-workers by the back of the neck and banged their heads into their keyboards to the captivating crunchy guitar hooks that present themselves during each minute of this material. By the time Vicious Citizen's thunderous, double bass drum laden, nuke of a cover of Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild" was nearly over I'd wrecked my work place, severely injured my co-workers, pissed all over the place and threw myself out of the third floor glass windows.

Now, here I am in ICU with an ass load of stitches, for some reason my wrist is handcuffed to the bed and I've been told I'm now unemployed... but whatever, man, it was worth it. Loud Mean Fast Dirty is some of the most authentic, highly energetic, catchy heavy metal in the world, and the best part is that it has come out of Montreal (Longueuil, more precisely) no less; a place more well known for it's death metal scene. There are copious amounts of drum patterns, blast beats and rolls that endorse every second of the high flying, deeply distorted rhythm riffs that never fail to land on some sort of catchy architecture. The leads will make you want to jump up and burst into an air solo just as much as the vocals will make you want to start growling along to their memorable lyrics and chants. If this shit doesn't get you up and moving, nothing will, the energy in this album is incredibly raw and well conveyed. A must hear for thrash loving heavy metal fans across the globe!

Physical Copy Provided by: Silver Wings Studios

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1 Shouts:

  1. This is the most bad-ass review ever !!! thanx alot from the whole band !!! cheers headbanger \m/

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